4.6 Political, Governmental and Judicial Systems

4.6.1 Parental Alienation

Introduction

Parental alienation is a form of psychological abuse that results in a child's unjustified rejection of a loving and caring parent. It is also considered a form of coercive and controlling family violence.

During the NCI Vancouver Hearings, two definitions of parental alienation were presented:

• Warshak's Definition:

“A disturbance in which children, usually in the context of sharing a parent’s negative attitudes, suffer unreasonable aversion to a person, or persons, with whom they would normally develop affectionate relations.”

• Bernet's Definition:

“Parental alienation is a mental condition in which a child, usually one whose parents are engaged in a high-conflict divorce, unjustifiably aligns with one parent and strongly resists or refuses contact with the other parent. The child’s rejection of the parent is irrational and not based on the child’s actual experiences with that parent.”

This topic was presented by Kelsey Green, who emphasized the harmful and trans-generational consequences of parental alienation, highlighting its detrimental effects not only on children but also on broader society. He outlined the challenges within legal and social systems that prevent parental alienation from being properly recognized and addressed, thereby failing to protect children from this form of abuse.

According to Mr. Green, parental psychopathology is the root cause of parental alienation. The contributing factors include family dynamics, misaligned professionals, child protection services, law enforcement, courts, educators, and shelters. He asserted that if existing legal frameworks were effectively enforced, the risks and impacts of parental alienation would be significantly mitigated.

The Legal Framework

In 2021, the Divorce Act was amended to incorporate provisions on family violence, although it does not explicitly address parental alienation. Family violence is defined as:

means any conduct, whether or not the conduct constitutes a criminal offence, by a family member towards another family member, that is violent or threatening or that constitutes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour or that causes that other family member to fear for their own safety or for that of another person — and in the case of a child, the direct or indirect exposure to such conduct — and includes

(a) physical abuse, including forced confinement but excluding the use of reasonable force to protect themselves or another person;

(b) sexual abuse;

(c) threats to kill or cause bodily harm to any person;

(d) harassment, including stalking;

(e) the failure to provide the necessaries of life;

(f) psychological abuse;

(g) financial abuse;

(h) threats to kill or harm an animal or damage property; and

(i) the killing or harming of an animal or the damaging of property; (violence familiale)

The definition encompasses various forms of abuse, including psychological abuse, which is particularly relevant to parental alienation.

Under the Divorce Act, courts must consider family violence as a key factor in determining the best interests of the child, ensuring that decisions prioritize the child's physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.

16 (1) The court shall take into consideration only the best interests of the child of the marriage in making a parenting order or a contact order.

Primary consideration

16(2) When considering the factors referred to in subsection (3), the court shall give primary consideration to the child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.

Factors to be considered

16(3) In determining the best interests of the child, the court shall consider all factors related to the circumstances of the child, including

(a) the child’s needs, given the child’s age and stage of development, such as the child’s need for stability;

(b) the nature and strength of the child’s relationship with each spouse, each of the child’s siblings and grandparents and any other person who plays an important role in the child’s life;

(c) each spouse’s willingness to support the development and maintenance of the child’s relationship with the other spouse;

(d) the history of care of the child;

(e) the child’s views and preferences, giving due weight to the child’s age and maturity, unless they cannot be ascertained;

(f) the child’s cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual upbringing and heritage, including Indigenous upbringing and heritage;

(g) any plans for the child’s care;

(h) the ability and willingness of each person in respect of whom the order would apply to care for and meet the needs of the child;

(i) the ability and willingness of each person in respect of whom the order would apply to communicate and cooperate, in particular with one another, on matters affecting the child;

(j) any family violence and its impact on, among other things,

(i) the ability and willingness of any person who engaged in the family violence to care for and meet the needs of the child, and

(ii) the appropriateness of making an order that would require persons in respect of whom the order would apply to cooperate on issues affecting the child; and

(k) any civil or criminal proceeding, order, condition, or measure that is relevant to the safety, security and well-being of the child.

Factors relating to family violence

16(4) In considering the impact of any family violence under paragraph (3)(j), the court shall take the following into account:

(a) the nature, seriousness and frequency of the family violence and when it occurred;

(b) whether there is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in relation to a family member;

(c) whether the family violence is directed toward the child or whether the child is directly or indirectly exposed to the family violence;

(d) the physical, emotional and psychological harm or risk of harm to the child;

(e) any compromise to the safety of the child or other family member;

(f) whether the family violence causes the child or other family member to fear for their own safety or for that of another person;

(g) any steps taken by the person engaging in the family violence to prevent further family violence from occurring and improve their ability to care for and meet the needs of the child; and

(h) any other relevant factor.

(Underlined emphasis added)

Although the Divorce Act applies only to legally married parents, its principles guide provincial family laws, making it a valuable reference in interpreting the best interests of the child in custody disputes. Furthermore, the requirement that a parent supports the child's relationship with the other parent can be instrumental in identifying and addressing parental alienation.

Severe cases of parental alienation, which constitute emotional and psychological abuse, may also be addressed under youth protection laws.

Discussion of Witness Testimony

Kelsey Green

Overview of Testimony

Kelsey Green is a licensed professional engineer in Nova Scotia with 20 years of experience in infrastructure. He co-founded Complex Trauma Canada in 2022 and became a founding member of a Parental Alienation Study Group in 2024. Due to the lack of existing research on parental alienation, he applied engineering principles to analyze the issue and later pursued post-graduate studies in parental alienation. He is now a published author and one of the few individuals in Canada with formal education in parental alienation studies.

Mr. Green identified 17 parental alienating behaviours:

1. Denigrating the targeted parent.

2. Restricting contact with the targeted parent.

3. Interfering with communication between the child and the targeted parent.

4. Suppressing symbolic connections, such as preventing reminders of the parent.

5. Using love withdrawal as a tool for manipulation.

6. Telling the child the parent does not love them.

7. Forcing the child to choose between parents.

8. Creating the impression the parent is dangerous.

9. Confiding in the child about adult issues.

10. Coercing the child into rejecting the targeted parent.

11. Encouraging the child to spy on the targeted parent.

12. Asking the child to keep secrets.

13. Diminishing the targeted parent’s parental identity, such as using first names instead of "Mom" or "Dad".

14. Encouraging the child to refer to stepparents as "Mom" or "Dad".

15. Withholding important information from the targeted parent.

16. Changing the child’s name to sever identity ties with the targeted parent.

17. Fostering emotional dependency on the alienating parent.

Other issues include gaslighting, stonewalling, triangulation and double bind situation.

To determine whether parental alienation is occurring, it depends on the number of behaviours present and their severities. Not all need to be there.

A child experiencing parental alienation is likely to react as follows:

1. Denigration of the targeted parent.

2. Weak or frivolous rationalizations.

3. Lack of ambivalence.

4. Independent thinker phenomenon.

5. Automatic support for the alienating parent.

6. Absence of guilt.

7. Borrowed scenarios.

8. Rejection of extended family. 8. Criteria for Identifying Parental Alienation (Baker’s Model)

To determine whether parental alienation is occurring, the following criteria must be considered:

1. Resistance to contact with the targeted parent.

2. A previously positive relationship between the child and the targeted parent.

3. No history of abuse or neglect by the targeted parent.

4. Multiple alienating behaviours exhibited by the alienating parent.

5. Behavioural manifestations in the child, such as strong, unjustified rejection of the targeted parent.

Parental alienation is not present when:

1. A parent committed bona fide child abuse.

2. A parent did not have a pre-existing relationship with that child.

3. The parent did not have a positive relationship with that child.

4. The child was not refusing contact.

5. No alienating behaviours are present.

6. No behavioural manifestations (symptoms) are present in the child.

Parental alienation has consequences on the family system, and some are:

1. Triangulation within families (inverted family hierarchy, perverse triangle).

2. Children left with alienator are taught anti-social behaviours.

3. Children are often groomed by the alienating parent to be alienators and alienated.

4. Lack of differentiation of self (fusion, enmeshment).

The harms caused by parental alienation to children are:

• Loyalty conflicts.

• Emotional numbing and loss of empathy.

• Behavioural issues (aggression, defiance, compliance, learned helplessness).

• Disruption to attachments (attachment traumas).

• Guilt, unresolved grief, confusion.

• Delusions, persisting even in adulthood.

• Difficulty maintaining relationship and employment.

• Enmeshment (adultification, parentification, spouseification, infantilization).

• Lower self-esteem.

• Anti-social behaviours.

• Dissociation (child split in two).

• Difficulty with relationships (friends, work, family, partners).

• Depression, anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, emotional struggles.

• Conflicts with authority figures.

• Criminal actions / prison.

• Shared delusion.

• Life-long increased risk of suicide (or potentially Medical Assistance in Dying).

• Failure to launch or extreme success (at a cost).

• Feeling of loss, trust issues.

• Becoming alienating parent, or alienated parent.

This childhood psychological abuse is said to be as harmful as sexual or physical abuse.

COVID mandates have had a significant impact on parental alienation:

• Courts effectively shut down during COVID.

• Separation and divorce rates increased.

• Intimate partner violence increased.

• Alienating parents used vaccines to triangulate courts into giving them medical decision-making, prevented the targeted parent from helping children to get mental health help.

• The actors still trying to help families often did a limited job due to COVID measures.

• During COVID, the system itself used the same tactics as parental alienation to divide families.

Kelsey Green identifies several reasons why parental alienation is not duly acknowledged or addressed:

1. Lack of Professional Knowledge and Training

• Many social workers, psychologists, and legal professionals are not trained in recognizing or addressing parental alienation.

• University programs in Canada do not teach about family systems, intergenerational trauma, or the dynamic maturation model of attachment, which are critical to understanding alienation.

• Because professionals are unfamiliar with the issue, they often fail to identify cases or misdiagnose them.

2. Legal System Challenges

• Courts and child protection services often do not recognize parental alienation, and there is no consistent approach to handling these cases.

• Judges select their own training, often from ideologically biased sources, which can skew their perception of alienation cases.

• Some courts have ruled in favour of alienated parents, even awarding damages, but these cases often take years to resolve, leaving children permanently affected.

3. Government and Institutional Failures

• Canadian government agencies do not fund research into parental alienation, leaving a gap in knowledge and policy development.

• Public officials claim there is not enough research on the topic, using that as an excuse to avoid making policy changes.

• Public servants responsible for protecting families may actively contribute to the problem by misidentifying victims and perpetrators.

4. Media Misinformation and Social Narrative

• The media misrepresents or ignores the issue, often portraying parental alienation as a tactic used by abusive parents rather than acknowledging it as a form of child abuse.

• Advocacy groups have even called for banning the term “parental alienation”, pushing a censorship agenda that prevents open discussion.

• Many people assume parental alienation is only used by abusive fathers, despite research showing that alienation behaviours are equally committed by both mothers and fathers.

5. High Legal Thresholds for Proving Alienation

• Courts require extensive proof before they will rule that parental alienation is occurring. Even when evidence is presented, the standard of proof is so high that many cases go unresolved.

• Some legal professionals deny the existence of parental alienation, preventing it from being properly addressed in court.

6. Intergenerational Cycle and Lack of Awareness

• Alienation behaviours are passed from generation to generation, reinforcing the cycle.

• Many victims of parental alienation do not realize what happened to them, accepting it as normal family dynamics.

Kelsey Green argues that without proper education, legal reform, research funding, and media awareness, parental alienation will continue to harm children and families, remaining a silent epidemic in Canada.

Kelsey Green emphasizes that parliamentarians, legal professionals, and the public need to recognize parental alienation as a real and damaging issue. His recommendations focus on education, legal reform, public awareness, family support, and government action to ensure alienated children and parents receive the help they need.

Discussion and Analysis of Issues Raised by the Witness

Parental alienation is a serious issue that undermines children well-being. Negating one parent, is negating half of oneself. It brings a child to hate a part of who he is, to reject part of himself, with life-long and trans-generational consequences. In the long run, it affects all society with healthcare issues, addictions, anti-social behaviours, relationships problems impacting families, work environments, and so on.

The legal framework exists to protect children from such abuse. The problem is not the law, it is how the law is applied. Awareness of this issue is missing. Also, on a highly psychological and social problem, the question becomes: is it appropriate to deal with it in a legal manner?

Would it be preferable to have a less legal, more social and psychological approach to divorce and separation when children are involved, focusing on the well-being of children and the experience, and on the consequences of the separation for them?

Are judges the best persons to make decisions about children’s well-being?

It seems the adversarial system is not appropriate to deal with such cases where parents, though they are no longer a couple, remain a parental team to their children until they are independent.

The adversarial legal system often intensifies conflicts between parents, who end up fighting each other instead of cooperating for their children's best interest. In these disputes, the children suffer the most. Mediation can be an effective solution for parents willing to reach an agreement.

However, what happens when parents refuse to find a resolution? In such cases, courts may play a crucial role in setting boundaries for abusive parents, provided they can reliably identify the abuser.

High-conflict separations and divorces often involve parental alienation. In such cases, should it be assumed that the children are affected and experiencing loyalty conflicts, warranting automatic psychological support?

Conclusion

Parental alienation is a serious and under recognized issue with devastating long-term consequences. Addressing it requires legal reform, professional education, public awareness, and systemic support. Without these measures, parental alienation will continue to harm children, families, and society as a whole.

Recommendations

To improve the legal treatment of parental alienation, the following recommendations are proposed:

1. Education and Training for Professionals:

• Increase formal education on parental alienation in social work, psychology, psychiatry, and law.

• Provide mandatory training for judges, lawyers, social workers, and child protection officials to help them recognize and properly address alienation.

• Integrate family systems theory and attachment research into professional education programs.

2. Legal and Policy Reforms:

• Ensure family courts recognize and address parental alienation as a form of psychological abuse and family violence.

• Implement clear guidelines for courts and child welfare agencies on how to handle alienation cases.

• Establish specialized family court divisions with judges and experts trained specifically in parental alienation.

• Provide legal accountability for parents who engage in alienation, ensuring consequences for violating custody agreements.

• In high-conflict cases, children should automatically be provided with a lawyer and a social worker trained in parental alienation to assess their needs.

3.  Public Awareness and Advocacy:

• Increase public awareness about parental alienation through media campaigns and educational programs.

• Encourage research and public discussions on parental alienation, breaking the stigma around the issue.

• Challenge misinformation and push back against efforts to ban the term "parental alienation".

4. Support for Affected Families:

• Develop specialized therapy programs to help alienated children rebuild relationships with targeted parents.

• Provide financial and psychological support for alienated parents to navigate the legal and emotional challenges.

• Offer intervention programs for alienating parents to address underlying psychological issues and prevent further harm.

5. Government and Institutional Action:

• Secure government funding for research on parental alienation and its impact on children.

• Establish public policies that prioritize children's rights to have relationships with both parents.

• Ensure child protection agencies work to reunite children with alienated parents rather than reinforcing separation.

These recommendations seek to address parental alienation as a serious and often overlooked form of psychological abuse with profound impacts on children and families. By reforming legal frameworks, enhancing professional training, supporting affected families, and raising public awareness, Canada can better protect the rights of children to maintain relationships with both parents while holding alienating behaviours accountable within judicial and child welfare systems.